There is a moment during parenting when the words of a child can melt ones heart. These two very simple words are “please” and “thank you”. When they come from the mouth of a 4 year old (without asking them to say it), they are priceless, heart warming and a pure delight.
These two simple words can have the greatest impact. When used correctly they give the particular person that uses them the greatest honour and a reputation to be remembered throughout their lives.
No matter how many children you have, these two words should be used and taught in the home. It does however require many hours, months and YEARS of nagging “what do you say if you want something”, “what is the magic word”, “you won’t get it until I hear you say please & thank you” etc. But in the long run, this constant nagging does pay off. My four year old proved this morning ~ “mummy, can I have some salt-ant-ers
should be sultanas please” followed by “thank you mummy”. You can very well imagine my delight from these two simple words and he was praised, cuddled and embraced for his manners and kindness.
Setting this standard of ‘nagging’ is a good thing. Children that have been taught these simple words are polite and courteous, they set a good example for others and are looked upon with a sense of gratitude, pride and integrity.
Once taught to say please and thank you, these two words are NEVER forgotten; they are forever branded in ones vocabulary. They are the most pleasing words one wishes to hear and I am forever grateful that my parents taught myself these two words; as they have had the greatest impact already throughout my life.
Then of course there is the other nagging that mothers and yes WIVES are blamed for doing constantly (husbands and fathers also nag by the way and sometimes more often)! However, I am not referring to nagging wives, but mainly mothers. We are constantly asking our children to pick that up, put it away, clean your room, take your plate to the sink, pick up that towel, put on your shoes, get in the car, stop this, stop that etc…
Being at them all the time or nagging is what we must do. We do this to mould them into adult hood. We need to teach them how to clean up after themselves, show them how to be tidy, clean and hygienic. Teaching them these life saving skills will not only benefit them in the long run but also parents as well.
Nagging is a way of teaching children to be responsible, complete tasks, take pride in what they do and have routines and order. As mentioned above; it wont happen over night, and takes years of practice. It’s a constant battle of wills and if this is what nagging is, then so be it. Guiding and teaching our children should start from an early age; as soon as they can walk. Simple chores, rules and jobs must be handed out (an 18 month old can be taught and learn to pick up toys) and over time, your children will one day surprise you.
Fortunately as children get older, they do become more responsible and helpful. When chores or tidying up is done by them without a parent asking, it is indeed a real blessing, and heart warming gesture. It would also appear that all the nagging over the years (not just from mum) may have well and truly paid off. I know that my nagging has indeed had an impact on my children. I can also vouch for this as during my last school holidays when my 8yr old boy proved this.
Because I now have older children; I can now can take advantage of sleeping in during the school holidays (what is that some of you might ask ~ your time will come). And believe me when I say that sleeping in makes all the difference….your day seems to run smoothly….and especially not having to rise until around 10.30am.
On this particular morning, to my surprise, MY 8 year old boy cleaned up the kitchen (after feeding and dishing up his two younger brothers their breakfast), the playroom, his bedroom and all the living area floors (are you thinking WOWZERS)! I am not lying truly ~ he knew I would be very pleased and he also loved the praise I gave him along with having this being relayed to his dad. He since then has continued to be very helpful and gone around tidying up areas of the home without being asked to do so.
My girls also don’t need to be nagged as much these days (I am not saying I have perfect children mind you; they can be right little buggers too and any amount of yelling and nagging has no effect on them whatsoever ~ this is when a good bottle of wine needs to be chilling in the fridge)!
However, getting back to my son/s (as I have three of them); I can honestly say that not only should they follow the mothers example, but solely their fathers example too (my sons have seen their dad work and help me, so perhaps have decided NOW to follow suite ~ we are still working on the 6 and 4 year olds though).
nag your boys to help with the housework such as cooking, cleaning, washing up and doing regular (girl) chores whether inside or outside. Fathers need to set an example too (you can often tell when a man has been nagged by their mothers ~ mine was and I thank her for it).
So fathers; please honour and respect your wife when she nags at your children. HELP your wives in their daily duties, show your children (and sons especially), that housework and chores are part of growing up. And most importantly help your wife so your sons will help their mothers ~ they in turn will thank you for it in the long run!