Why were they not born with a user manual?

Toilet training would have to be the worst possible task when bringing up children (especially boys). There is no right or wrong way about going about it as each child is different, individual and has their own way of achieving this goal. Whether it be with ease or utter chaos, the potty training saga can be a delight or total dismay!  

BUT……there is really something wrong when the child CONTINUES to poop in their dacks (but will go to the toilet or pot happily for number ones). There are those that sit glued to the pot for over an hour and will do nothing UNTIL (of course) a fresh night nappy is put on then low and behold they let rip just before going to bed or even better when they are in bed already sleep. We all know the consequence of having to wake the child and then the fumigation process of the room (I often wonder how the other siblings sleep through the putrid smell).  Did you know that lighting a match works brilliantly for this?  Why do they also insist on going in that brand new fresh nappy?


With the intensive labour pains us mothers go through, I am sure we would have gone that extra mile and also given birth to a user manual (that came with the child) this would at least have told us exactly how and WHEN to toilet train this particular child.  So please forgive me when I tell you that I have no magic potion or instant remedy for this topic.  Although I am a mother of 7 it does not make me an expert on the subject.  



I utterly detest toilet training.  I have read books,  other mothers blogs and parenting websites. I have also got tips from friends and family.  All this advice is useless if you have a stubborn child.

My girls were pretty good compared to my boys as they hated dirty nappies and soiled underwear.  However, the boys never seemed to care and would happily live in a dirty nappy if need be (yuck I would never do that though).
We have tried the award charts, bribery with chocolates or lollies.  Distraction in front of the Tele.  Sitting on the pot and eating, even making the big clapping hands and fuss when something DOES happen (a one off), but we are still trying.

Our 3yr old will be 4ys old in October.  He is going really well during the day.  He will take himself to the toilet for number ones, but forget trying to get him to do the number twos.  He will hold old as long as possible and wait till bed time (as I mentioned above, right after a nice fresh nappy has been put on, and AFTER sitting for a good hour or so on the pot).


At times, he tends to go missing and silence creeps through the house.  We know where he is, hiding in a corner whether in the nappy (during evening bedtime) or in his undies; he just doesn’t care and when playing out side it is no different.

When he does this, you would think he would catch on right?  He HATES the feeling, does the waddle walk and can’t stand the aftermath clean up (well neither can I kid) and continues to soil his underwear.  You would also think being hosed down in the garden would fix him quick smart right?  Nope, WRONG again.  

Perhaps it is just boys; my girls were never so disgusting and seemed to catch on more quickly.  Boys on the other hand when they finally get it down pat, the next stage is the butt wiping.  I wont go into details, however I have found many a towel on the floor of the bathroom with chocolate looking smears on them (and it’s definitely NOT chocolate).

Then there is the standing in front of the loo (toilet for non Aussie readers here); this I have still never got my head around.  WHY CAN’T THEY GET IT INSIDE THE BOWL (and this applies to all ages in the male species ~ male readers, by all means comment if you have an legit answer for this)!

There is one thing I can be certain of though. A mother can not teach their sons how to pee standing.  This is the fathers role.  I will never forget the time I took my eldest boy to a park once ~ he would have been almost 4 and was trained to sit (first boy and all); this park had no toilets and he needed to go NOW.  All we had on hand were trees and bushes (the potty was not in the car).  Of course I tried to ‘help’ him (advise if anything), and he got pee on his shoes, on his trousers and on MY hand…..when hubby got home that evening, I gave him a lecture ~ PLEASE TEACH YOUR SON TO PEE, as I haven’t got a clue (which is true)!

If by any chance a dad is reading this right now who has not to trained his young son/s, please take my advice and get onto it NOW!  

So next time you read some story on the wonders of toilet training and how EASY is it or if someone gives you some good sounding advice; by all means please can give it a try….it might just work for you.

HOWEVER……don’t expect it to be simple either because quite frankly…………  

TOILET TRAINING IS A NIGHTMARE!  



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