Today, was one of those days of regret and anguish. A day, where I know that whatever I say to my children will break their hearts.
Today, I had to deal with a death. The death of our new kitten; my daughters new kitten (whom we have only had for two weeks). The worse of it, is that I am participially to blame. It was an unfortunate accident.
Before leaving to go to swimming lessons with the two little boys, I went searching throughout the whole house and outside for the kitten. She was no where to be found. She also started to come only to me when being called by her name Mithril however there was no answer from her this morning.
I was already running late, so I closed all the bedroom doors in the house thinking she would only be able to destroy one room while I was away and not the whole house.
I put my boys in the van, called again for Mithril; checked underneath the car and even inside and along the driveway; there was not cat in sight. I started the engine and continued to look under the car (thinking if she was hiding, the sound would make her jump out and I would have sight of her).
So I got in the van, reversed and to my despair, she must have been inside the front tire rims and inside the engine area. You can imagine my grief and fright. It was horrible.
My next option was to park the car on the other side of our driveway (hidden from my little boys 5 and 3) and take them back inside through another door. Naturally we didn’t go to swimming lessons.
I wont go into any more details other than, Mithril was buried in a back corner of our paddock; and through all this I was a blabbering mess or tears. I still feel awful about it.
I was hoping not to tell the school children and just tell them that the cat had gone missing. However, my two little boys, know what happened “the cat got runned over mum with the van“; so I am now building up the courage to tell the children this afternoon after school. I don’t think I could keep the news from them when their brothers already know? (I really didn’t think the little boys would realise what actually happened).